Local icon: Charltons
By Luke McKenna • Aug 31st, 2008 • Section: Melbourne TalksCharltons is one of Melbourne’s more baffling icons.
Having decidedly shunned the alt-arts ‘cool’ movement of its byway peers in recent years, Coverlid Place‘s famed pool-hall-cum-nightclub is a trashy blemish on an otherwise trendy bar scene – a laneway oddity.
The venue’s owners have also attempted to thrust together the quiet gaming crowd and the raucous, late-night, can’t-remember-my-own-name-or-what-I’m-doing-on-top-of-you karaoke throng.
The approach has long recieved mixed reviews.
Charltons has been variously described as “fantastic fun” and a “top venue”, through to “It’s places like this that hold back the human race”, “might have been something unique in the 80s when it opened, but today it’s less than nothing” and, “If you like getting kicked out of a bar or club, pushed down a flight of stairs and elbowed to the jaw then this is the place for you”.
But this interesting clientele clash, combined with the bar’s stubborn, closed-to-change self confidence, is precisely why the venue is worth visiting.
For the uninitiated, Charltons is a short stroll down Coverlid, right off the Chinatown end of Little Bourke, past the violent stench of surrounding dumpsters and a neighbouring adult store.
A wooden shark wielding an eight-ball, teeth glinting, beckons revellers from the dishevelled walkway into a large doorway labelled ‘Charltons’ / ‘Allans Music loading area: keep clear’. Here, an old elevator, complete with what looks suspiciously like a bullet hole, waits to slowly creak and grind its way up to level two.
When the lift finishes its arduous climb, letting out a tired ‘ding’ to announce its arrival, the doors (hopefully) open to reveal a dimly-lit bar at the far end of the room, a small stage to the left, and two large pool and games rooms to the right.
The walls are painted dark, and there are no windows – no natural light. It’s drab, and slightly disorientating.
Charltons opens at 2pm most days. During the daytime hours you’ll find a mixed handful of Melbournians, mostly young, having a hit of pool, a flick of foosball, or a thwack of air hockey (“direct from Spain – the world’s fastest and most exciting air hockey table is here!”, a sign boasts) . There are also plenty of aged arcade games to burn through your coinage.
The once-green carpet in the games room is old and tattered, worn down to its grey underneath in some parts. It breathes musty smoke and beer from years of abuse. On the walls, home-made posters and amateur photographs advertise gaming tournaments from years ago. A sound system pumps out hits of the early, mid and late 90s. Drinks are cheap before 10pm.
As the hours wear on, the music gets louder and slightly more diverse (cue: Jimmy Barnes and Billy Joel), and the bar area begins to fill up. Karaoke kicks off at about 10.30pm most nights. The talent standard isn’t great – pitch and timing generally take a backseat to volume – but all vocalists are recieved warmly.
The bar really comes into its own on Fridays and Saturdays, when management fires up what it likes to call ‘Cage Nite Club’.
Two burley bouncers warden the Cage – they’re not the friendliest of chaps but, in keeping with the lighting scheme, they’re dim enough not to pose too much of a problem. A group of friends once smuggled an entire slab of stubbies past them, and churned through it question-free over the course of the night.
The Cage crowd, an entertaining mix of can’t-get-in-anywhere-else 18-year-olds, after work lower-rung suits, and the occasional cheap-drinking uni student, are loud but friendly. By midnight the dance area in front of the stage is full, and punters are in high sing-along spirits. Despite the earlier mention of stairs and elbows, I’ve never seen or feared a fight at Charltons.
Charltons isn’t the type of venue you’d show an out-of-towner to illustrate Melbourne’s rich cultural underbelly, but the place can be a lot of fun. It’s an enduring throwback to the CBD’s cheaper, dingier days – before laneway projects, $20 cover charges and lift safety standards.
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ha ha loved the article, and the night that the stubbies were snuck in to boot. this is one of the more favorable karaoke places that i’ve been to. the bathrooms were quite fantastic, graffiti, no toilet seats, and stank of bodily fluid. needless to say, i felt right at home. as a creature coming from the dive bars of new york city, this place is totally on my to do list when i get back to melbourne.
I blame Charltons for my misspent youth, but the memories of the beer-stained carpet, terrifying elevator, Kay Sahn and Chinese gangs playing snooker are treasured. It came from an era of easy listening, easier dress codes, and still easier use of apostrophes. It’s nice to know it’s still around, not made irrelevant by a new Melbourne of minimum standards.
yes I too enjoy Charltons for it’s rugged charms
hey is charltons still open i remember going there when i was 18 and 19 and im 37 now so is saturday nights the good night to go and does anyone know how much it is to get in cheers