Since being decisively dumped, my mind has now turned to the (at least) $50 question: how does one get a man, or woman, in this city? Somebody to-o-o-o love? And how does one find such a person anyway, without getting stalked, drugged or murdered? These questions and more I pondered over my morning serve of something delicious and possibly soaked in lard.
We seem to be faced with three basic choices: accidental romance (including newspaper personals), meeting through mutual friends, or going cyber. I’m a little turned off the idea of internet dating, mostly because it seems that many users present only the most thinly constructed reality of themselves in a bid to maximise their charm. I mean, can there really be that many people who are honestly fulfilling the Hollywood rom-com criteria of being genuinely smart, funny and beautiful? (Aside from moi, of course).
So we turn to meeting friends through friends, which can be dicey at best. I guess this is mostly because both parties probably know they’re being set up, and from personal experience, being forced on a semi-blind date can be pretty uncomfortable. You’re also being asked to take your friend’s word for how you will perceive their friend (‘Oh but he’s so funny!’ ‘Yeah, and a pretentious twat’), and this can lead to arguments when you have to defend why you found their (allegedly) incredibly gorgeous and perfect-in-every-way buddy ol’ pal entirely repulsive.
So we move on to everyone’s favourite – the chance encounter. This seems to be considered the most romantic way to meet a possible interest de love – your eyes meeting across a crowded tapas bar…you dial the wrong number only for it to be answered by the love of your life – these scenarios are the stuff of legend, and imply that Fate has stepped in and leant a hand.
However you choose to advertise yourself, we all know that there is only one true book of love in Melbourne – the great tome of lust that is the ‘Here’s looking at you’ section of MX. We’ve all been standing on a train or tram, between an armpit and an emo, having a sneaky squiz at the personals; hoping against hope, and wishing against wish that today (oh god, today) someone might be writing to you. I’ve taken to always wearing an orange fedora to make me easier to describe by any possible suitor – surely I’d be the only ‘girl in the jaunty orange bonnet’?
Complete lies aside, I have to let you in on a wee secret. All this thought about dates and the like was brought about by a singular event that occurred when I was approached by a stranger on a train, method: MX. Picture this: a crowded train, too many bikes, one beer too many. I fall over a bike, only to look up to be given one of the sauciest winks in history. A good start – made me laugh. Thus thrown into a tizz, I self-consciously focused on my MX (no love letters today, but it would happen, I told myself) until I arrived at my stop. As I went to get off, el strangero leapt out of nowhere, shouted ‘Oy!’ and thrust a scrap of paper into my hands. Looking down, I found the lad’s name and number scrawled on the ripped out personals, with ‘Here’s looking at you’ circled thickly. Nice!
It struck me as incongruous that this pretty gutsy act (I wouldn’t've done it, that’s for shiz) was coupled with the one section of MX is all about keeping your feelings on the down low. Let’s face it, there’s nothing really scary about sending in an anonymous text to MX saying ‘I think you look rather nice, so come and say hi’ – it practically super glues the ball to the other person’s court.
But when it’s done in person, and all analogies aside, what is the correct protocol when given a number or asked on a date by a stranger? Has it ever happened to you? What did you do? This is the problem – we’re all looking for love, but what happens when these opportunities are thrust upon us by someone we don’t know?
July 10 – Updated due to hot demand
Alright, alright I admit it – I went on the date and I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect all that feedback, and now I feel I owe it to all you brave readers, and so here it is: the follow up epistle.
3 comments
Penny says:
Jul 7, 2008
Wow! Great story. It would be truly wonderful if it turned into something meaningful from there – did you call the number? I think I’d be too nervous to follow through and actually meet up with him. Raises another question too: where do you take a mystery stranger on a date in Melbourne?
matt says:
Jul 8, 2008
If he was gutsy enough to make that move then you owe him a call i reckon.
anon says:
Jul 8, 2008
He served the ball right at your face as you were leaving the court, and you caught it. I hope you return it with open-minded grace. It’s an odd situation (not sure there is a protocol for this one), but you at least owe him a handshake over the net (or over a drink). You’ll always wonder what could have been if you don’t follow this up.